Whoa! Bill and Ted Could Save 2020

Dudes and dudettes, so far 2020 has been, like, bogus! First Australia was on fire, then that bogus Pandemic shuts down everything, and then the protests. Then these evil murder wasps show up and start, like, wrecking everything. This world needs something to unite the world and remind everyone to be excellent to each other. This world…needs the Great Ones.

THAT’S RIGHT, PEOPLE! Bill and Ted are coming back with their third big-screen adventure. Now, I’ve never actually the Bill and Ted movies (but I will this weekend!), but I know the premise: Bill and Ted, two simple but good-hearted dudes trying to become big rockstars. And their music ends up being so awesome, it unites the world and creates a utopian society in the future. Excellent!

There’s no denying it, people: humanity’s going through some dark times right now. People are at each other’s throats over so many things. If there were ever a time for two lovable slackers to unite everyone in the real world, it’s Bill and Ted.

What I’m trying to say is, we need this Bill and Ted film now, to help us get over all the bogus stuff we’re going through. I’m totally going to go watch it!