The Spice Melange

South Park, Season 23, Episode 8, “Turd Burglars” Review

I’m going to be keep this review as brief as possible out of sheer disgust for what I’ve witnessed in South Park last night. Not “disgust” as in anything moral, but “make me want to vomit” disgust. I can deal with a lot of the stuff that South Park does, but jokes about actual poop is where I draw the line. Even if I thought the reference to the Spice Melange from Dune as funny.

In this episode, Mrs. Broflovski suffers a nasty bacterial infection, and her gut needs a transplant of some healthy bacteria via fecal transplant. I looked it up, and its a real thing. Sheila’s health improves, and then every woman in town wants in on her shit. They even try to bribe Kyle with a copy of Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. I’m not sure if that’s a subtle jab at EA by saying they’re still worth shit. However, even I admit Fallen Order’s good.

Meanwhile, Kyle goes through a germaphobe phase when he discovers all the bacteria and germs in his body. It doesn’t last long, though, and he embraces his own microbiome. As a result, he reaches a state that I assume is similar to someone high on the Spice Melange from the Dune franchise. His eyes turn blue, he has a heightened sense of awareness about micriobiomes, and he keeps saying one thing: the bookshelf.

Tom Brady’s Spice Melange

As the episode progresses, we get the titular “Turd Burglars”- Stan, Kenny, and Cartman. They start stealing shit for people who want to be healthier. This eventually leads to them wanting to get Tom Brady’s shit, which everyone calls “The Spice Melange”.

While the Dune reference seems a bit random at first, in hindsight it makes sense. In the Dune franchise, the Spice Melange is this super drug that sped humanity’s development into the stars. In addition, ingesting it leads to extended lifespans and heightened awareness. The joke that the show’s making is the fact that Spice Melange comes from a single source: the Sandworms of Arrakis. Their shit mixes with water to become the Spice Melange. A similar process ends up saving the town of South Park. However, replace Sandworm with Tom Brady, and Spice Melange with Tom Brady’s shit.

When the women of South Park try to do their own transplants with turkey basters, the resulting bacteria makes them all sick. Thanks to Kyle discovering Tom Brady’s collection of “spice”, though, the day’s saved. Just in time to make people sick for Thanksgiving.

This has to be my least favorite episode of the season. I can deal with a lot of the things South Park does, but this is where I draw the line. The only saving grace I could find were the jokes about Tom Brady and his Spice Melange. Now I need to go forget what I had to watch for Thanksgiving dinner.

I Give “Turd Burglars” a 2/5. I’m never watching this episode again.

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