We interrupt this blog post for some breaking Marvel news: GUESS WHO?
Hi, everyone! I’m your deadly neighborhood Deadpool, and I have given Jay “a holiday” for today’s part of the 30-Day Marvel Challenge. Don’t worry about him; he’s busy working on his theme for next week: “Pride Month in Cartoons.” Spoilers, don’t tell anyone.
In the meantime, let us talk about Jay’s favorite rivalry in Marvel Comics. But then I thought of one better than “Spider-Man and Green Goblin,” so we’re going with mine!
Deadpool and Thanos. The Greatest Rivalry Marvel Has Ever Known!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, trolls. Put the torches down and let me explain. Or don’t; I’m digital right now, so I can’t die. Believe it or not, me and Thanos do have a big rivalry. It’s not just because we fought in Deadpool 2, either. Like many useful conflicts, it all started with a woman.
Back when Francis and those jerks at Weapon X were torturing me to give me superpowers, I came so close to dying that I could see Death near me. We both came from different worlds; she was dead; I wasn’t. We ended up bonding and falling in love. Then my Deus ex healing kicked in and put an end to our plans to be together forever. So much for the wedding; she even made a cake!
Anywho, we got reacquainted whenever I came close to dying, but when I managed to die for real, Mr. Grimace came in and ruined everything. He wanted to win Death’s heart, and couldn’t stand the fact that she liked me. So he cursed me with immortality to keep us apart forever, and I cursed him by annoying the daylights out of him.
So, Deadpool and Thanos have been at each other’s throats ever since. He ended up taking away my curse because he wants to strangle so much! Yet he can’t because then I’d get to be with Death. Either way, he still loses, and he knows it.
Doesn’t matter. I already moved on to Vanessa. Go watch my movies, Marvel rules!